Bio-Dome

I’m going to be completely honest with, you, dearest reader. I’m not sure who failed who more. Bud Mackentosh and Doyle Johnson to society, or society to Bud and Doyle? Oh, don’t be mislead, in Bio-Dome they saved the day, re-established homeostasis to Bio-Dome Mall, and mostly stayed faithful to their girls outside the trouble bubble, but consider our modern world that has come since.

Warning: All hell is breaking loose

Thanks Pauly.

No, seriously, think about it. We have politicians who don’t give a fuck unless you pay them enough, climate control is still, STILL a hot topic issue, and I say that with as big of a pun face as I can, despite the dire situation. Cats and dogs got along, Falkner has no dick, Doyle didn’t start the fire but thought it was pretty cool. Sorry Billy Joel, we still don’t have any leads.

Regardless, our Homo sapiens actual stoner Bill and Ted knockoffs did what they could in 1996 to attempt some science. First they tried to act locally when told to act globally, but then they tried to act globally when they couldn’t act locally any more.

Free Mahi Mahi, Free Mahi Mahi if you will

No, Bud, free us from the hellscape that is America 26 years later. We failed each other pal!

Dickless, it’s been a nonstop moronathon!
— Bio-Dome Five member, Olivia

I don’t care Olivia, I just really care about the environment. Didn’t you read my dissertation about ghosts in New York? It reads really well with Popcorn…lots…and lots…of Popcorn
— Bio-Dome Five member, “not really a quote”, DIckless

Dear…lord, they look mad.

What do you guys want out of life?

To die if it saves the environment, obviously.

If we’re continuing with our honesty here, there would be less failure of everyone to everyone if 90s bio-dome environments didn’t look so much like 90s malls in Arizona. That’s on you, Vasquez Lake.

Anyways I’ve veered off plot about as much as the movie. Where was I? Oh yes. Bud and Doyle, in a fit of rage against breast stroke swimmers, get tortured by bladder buster drinks and end up mistaking the Bio-dome project for a mall, and subsequently get trapped in there. This proves to be the start of a 100 Million Dollar mistake according to Leaky.

Where’s the Hot Topic?

Factoid

At least according to the movie, pissing in the jungle foliage reduces homeostasis by 0.9%. Who knew bladder busters had that bad of an effect.
— Watch the movie

Bud and Doyle raise hell for a bit, wreck a bunch of shit and almost trash the entire project. What’s worse is that the real almost coup de grâce for the entire project is a lone key accidentally left in the desert door. HUGE party commences. THANKS TO A BLOODY KEY!

Here lizard lizard lizard. Look Bud…a key. Praise be the key. Ohmmmm

All hope appears lost, at least until the burnout Bill and Ted knockoffs discover a superpower that solves everything. Yes, that’s right folks…it’s the power of yoga and Bud’s ability to lick his own back.

You like that

Who You Gonna Call? 1-900-squirly-stub

At this time in the movie, Dickless makes like his dick and disappears, leaving The Bio-Dome 5 without their Tito, to restore homeostasis to the Bio-Dome. A month of destruction takes 11 months to recover. That’s some global warming commentary right there.

If I had Blue Chew ads, this wouldn’t be one.

Dickless does eventually turn up again, and in a plot twist of all plot twists, Doyle gets to juggle his coconuts and reveal Dickless’ true plans. He would have destroyed it all anyway.

I’ve got a lovely sack of coconuts boom-ity boom, there they are all blowing in a rooooow
— Dickless, probably.

Final takeaway? Seriously, take care of the environment when you can, it’s the only one we have, it’s the only one with beer.

Despite all the legitimate criticisms of this movie it has always been one I shamelessly enjoy. It’s good background noise when you need something, and if I ever actually take edibles, it’d be interesting to rewatch under that influence. If only my state would legalize like we voted for. Sorry, real political commentary.

A’s may get degrees, but D’s save trees.

Extras

Noticed details

Bud knows waaaaay too much about Doyle’s masturbatory habits.

Too many scenes of “Smell my fart, what did I eat?”

Trailer

Streaming information

TubiTV: https://tubitv.com/movies/305798/bio-dome

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Bio-Dome-Pauly-Shore/dp/B07GT2NL3K/ref=sr_1_2

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